Sixty for sixty challenge completion

So yesterday marked the end of the Sixty for Sixty meditation challenge. I originally started it following a comment Naval Ravicant made on Joe Rogan’s podcast. I’m not really sure how I’d quantify the experience.

I started using the Waking Up app in November of last year, so I have mindful minutes on my iPhone going back to that. It’s mostly the ten minute guided lessons with some twenty or thirty minute bursts, then around late June there’s a couple thirty minute sessions before I quit drinking, then my first one hour session on the 19th. I had originally tried to scale up from thirty to sixty in five-minute increments, but I gave that up after four days and just went straight to sixty.

I was actually very disciplined about it it, only missing one session in August, and even then I still got thirty minutes in. In September, I really seemed to lose steam and the totals start dropping to 40 minutes, down to 20. I think the main reason for the drop has been time. School started back up and as a result I stayed up later, and started sleeping in. When I started doing the challenge, I was waking up around 5AM before everyone else in the house, getting my hour in and making a cup of tea before my youngest would wake up. Other times I might do it first thing in the AM or in the early afternoon before the girls get home.

Now, it’s all can do to get to bed before 11PM, and I get woken up several times during the night by the baby. By the time we get out of bed in the morning now it’s time to go, go, go. I’ve tried making up for it with 20 minute, guided lessons for an early session, followed by another 20 unguided later in the day, but I’ve fallen off.

One thing that was almost unbearable in the beginning of doing the hour long sessions was the physical pain. I would sit on the ground on top of a couple of cushions, and my back would develop these horrible aches that I would have to stretch out every five minutes near the end of the session. And just getting the feet right for that long took some getting used to as well. But then one day, following a workout, I found that the back pain was gone. So now it’s not the physical pain that is the biggest impediment to my practice, but mental ones. Getting started is the hardest part.

One of the things that isn’t so clear to me is what type of practice I’m doing. Since I was coming from the Waking Up course, Sam Harris’s version of mindfulness is what I was used to: focusing on the breathing, sounds, the visual field, noticing thoughts and just being aware of the whole of conscious experience. But Naval had urged people just to sit, without any goal. As a result, I found myself thinking through about whatever was going on, challenges, ideas about whatever. It was a much more creative, effortless practice.

I’m going to have more to say about habits in a later post, all I want to mention now with regard to meditation practice is that the amount of time I spent meditating daily is a pretty good indicator as to how well I’m sticking to my healthy habits. I don’t have any plans to start drinking alcohol, but I have been drinking a lot of caffeine-laced energy drinks lately. And while I don’t think the two are directly related, I think there’s probably some underlying factor, probably stress, that I’m not dealing with elsewhere else.

And I’m probably not the best person to assess whether my practice has affected my interpersonal behaviors. Of course, the goal of meditation is not what happens during practice, but how you carry that practice into the real world. Being able to recognize and interrupt unhealthy behaviors or responses to stress throughout the day is one of the reasons I took it up. I’m not really sure how that’s turned out. I do find myself more aware at times, but on the other hand I think I’ve been quicker to temper, especially with my kids. Part of it may be no alcohol. But the temper doesn’t linger, and less likely to beat myself up about negative behaviors.

And one more point, about clock watching. I’ve tried to refrain from keeping a visual or auditory timer or any other indicator of how long is passing when I meditate. Earlier apps that I used had a soundtrack or a bell to mark intervals, but I found those too distracting. I would hear the loops in Calm’s bird-chirping background and notice it every time I’d hear the same pattern of tweets. So when I first started to do the longer sessions, I’d just set the starting gong, and sit there until I heard the next one, which would mark then end of my session.

I always had my iPhone in front of me, and while I would use it as a visual fixture sometimes, I found I had to put in in airplane mode after a few notifications interrupted the app’s timer. A few times I found myself checking the timer to see that I had been sitting for an indeterminate amount of time. Anyways, the last minutes of a session, whether it’s a sixty minute or twenty minute one, are still challenging. A part of my brain is sitting there, ready to get up and go, go, go, and it’s hard to sit still without checking the clock to make sure that the timer is still running. And no matter whether I’m doing a twenty, forty or sixty minute session, a part of my brain knows that time is winding down, and is gets anxious about getting up and getting on with my day. There was only one time I can remember being surprised by the closing bell, and thinking “wow, it’s over already.”

Conscious realism

Donald Hoffman has been popping up a lot recently, he’s the originator of the theory of conscious realism, which is a new attempt to resolve the mind-body problem, also known as the hard problem of consciousness: how does the experience of consciousness arise from the physical body? Religion’s answer has has pointed to the soul, but non-theists have been trying to come up with an answer that has a more testable hypothesis. Quantum physics has shown us that the classical model of Newtonian physics, (cause and effect,) is not quite correct, and scientists have been trying to reconcile the two for several decades. Hoffman’s theory is an inversion of the physicalist interpretation that the mind is an emergent behavior of the mind, that instead, that the fundamental constant of the universe is consciousness itself, and that the physical world as we know it is but an approximation of the underlying reality, as interpreted by our biological system.

I realize that I’m blowing the interpretation, and that this all may sound a lot like the old adage that we are not physical beings living in a spiritual world, but spiritual beings living in a physical world. Hoffman takes a couple steps to build to this conclusion, the first seems to be based on some evolutionary mathematics that he developed that shows that perception of true reality is antithetical to fitness selection in evolution. Hoffman built a computer simulation of a reality, with creatures that either perceived an accurate representation of that world, or ones that were able to screen out only that which was necessary for fitness, survival and reproduction. In all of his models, the creatures that saw an accurate representation of reality became extinct.

So the first part of this theory is what Hoffman calls the mulitmodal user interface theory, which is a way of saying that humans, and all creatures have evolved with a species specific interface for perceiving a limited version of reality. This is driven by natural selection, and our reality is different from other species. This is easily apparent when one considers variations within humans such as color blindness or synthesia, or between different species, such as the perception of different wavelengths of light.

This idea of the mind as a reality-filter is probably well known to anyone who has partaken in psychologics, as it becomes apparent that having the entirety of subconscious awareness rushing into consciousness is very detrimental to normal functioning. There’s a school of thought in Buddhism called mind-only that has a similar take, that only the mind is real, and that the physical world is created from it.

Two men were arguing about a flag flapping in the wind. “It’s the wind that is really moving,” stated the first one. “No, it is the flag that is moving,” contended the second. A Zen master, who happened to be walking by, overheard the debate and interrupted them. “Neither the flag nor the wind is moving,” he said, “It is MIND that moves.”

Most materialist theories of consciousness get to a certain point with the structure of the brain, the activity of neurons and neurotransmitters, and posit that add enough of these dendrite connections and -POOF! Consciousness. It’s hard to avoid hand waving or magic. Alternatively, Hoffman proposes that “the objective world consists of conscious agents and their experience.” Now this part may be hard to distinguish from the theory of panpsychism, which holds that all matter is in fact conscious, and that consciousness is the fundamental building block of reality. (Annaka Harris is a reluctant fan.)

Hoffman’s theory is interesting because he’s attempting to create a framework for testing these hypotheses with math. These types of questions have ultimately been philosophical ones, and it’s good to see progress in a way that may one day be experimental in a subjective way.

Music like breathing

I just have spent over two hours today playing piano today. I must have been flow state for some time. I was learning a simple version of Canon in D, only about 40 or 50 bars, but I managed to get the music and proper fingering memorized, and really speed drilled it into my head today.

It worked a bit to much, cause I found the song playing in my head for most of the day when I wasn’t playing the piano, and I knew I was really deep in it when I starting singing Blues Traveler over it. I just did a 30 minute meditation session, and it was everything I could do to concentrate on my breath or on the crickets outside. But even my breath was betraying me, as I found myself keeping time with my inhalations and exhalations. I can still hear it in my brain as I type these words, and I know it will be driving me crazy tonight as I try to go to sleep.

A few years ago I got my hands on a copy of Chuan C. Chang’s Fundementals of Piano Practice, and it got me to the point where I could actually sit down and teach myself how to play Fur Elise all the way through. The premise behind the method is that it turns the standard practice regimine on its head. Instead of practicing scales and exercise, Chang recommends going straight into playing an actual piece of music. Granted, there are certain fundamentals that one must understand, (reading notation!) but there is enough to be learned from just practicing a score than there one can learn from ‘exercises’. And learning the performance aspect of playing is important.

I took a similar approach when I was learning to play guitar decades ago. I didn’t do lessons or study books, I just picked up a copy of Guitar For the Practicing Musician from 711 and spent hours up in my room learning to play whatever random rock tracks they had for that month. I had a collection of tab books that I would study and play through for hours on end.

Piano has been frustrating for me because tablature is so much relatively easier to read than notation, and I guess I’d lacked the patience to internalize the mapping between the notes and the keys. It’s not any easier now, it just takes practice.

An another of the things that I took away from Chaun’s method is the focus on practicing the hardest parts first. And practicing hands separate. I don’t know if the latter is really revolutionary, but one can really swap back and forth with the hands separate method, drilling the hardest turns over and over at twice playing speed until the one hand gets tired, then switch to the other.

Chaun’s book is very long. I’ll admit that I haven’t read it. But their site seems like a trove of resources for anyone wanting to learn piano.

Goodbye Github

A good version control system is critical to any software development project. I haven’t been serious enough in the field to have ever messed with Subversion, but git has been part of my daily workflow for a while now. Github has been instrumental for the advancement of open source software, and there are still tons of projects out there that are still relying on it, and I’ll continue using it as far as I need to in order to participating in those projects. But moving forward, I’m using GitLab for all my new projects, and will be recommending it moving forward.

I’ll admit that I’m a cheapskate, and have never shelled out the $7/month to enable private repos on GitHub. And then Microsoft bought them. I haven’t noticed any changes as a result of that buyout, so I can’t say that there’s anything that troubles me. I understand the ban on embargoed countries that they had to implement, but that bothers me from an imperialist standpoint than anything I hold GitHub responsible for. Their hands are tied.

I attempted to setup local git servers on some my local and hosted servers, but nothing beats the convenience of software as a service. However, when I started pitching what would hopefully be a commercial project, I wasn’t about to put things up in a public repo. I had originally started using Bitbucket as an alternative, but recent experiences with other people who have used it previously have been problematic. (Issues following their buyout by Atlassian left many users unable to access their team accounts…)

My university is currently running an (older) version of GitLab internally, and I’ve been working with it extensively today as part of a new group project that I’m working on. One of the things we’re doing is setting up project repos for our website, and eventually other deliverables that we’ll be generating as part of the course. I wanted to avoid using Google drive, so I set something up to push our repo to the computer science department web servers. Unfortunately, they’re running a newer version of Kubernetes which is preventing the continuous integration runner from working, so we’re pretty much stuck for now. But it’s got me looking at options for static content management pages, which is cool. The idea is to allow people to easily edit the repo pages using markdown, and then have Jekyll or whatever package push the generated HTML to the project site. Today has mostly been about setting up scheduling tools and a Discord instance.

But hopping back to the public Gitlab site, I’ve been pretty impressed with the functionality of things like GitLab Pages and the features built into the service. So for now, GitLab will be my go-to for all new code repos.


I don’t really have a lot to talk about today. Yesterday’s post was about three thousand words, and that’s by far the longest post I’ve written in months, especially for a daily. So far the reaction from the Pennykoin community has been positive. We’ll see how things go.

I’ve had family stuff going on this weekend, so was tied up with all that going on today. Next week I’ll probably have more ideas about a new machine learning project that I’ll be working on at school. I’ll probably have to doxx myself to talk about it, but I think it’s worth it, so we’ll see how that goes.

Speaking of school, the other class that I’ve been taking at school has been about the history of programming languages, theory and history of FORTRAN and all that. It got me looking at LISP, and I’ve been reading about that, and have been watching these old MIT videos from 1986 that deals with it.

Seriously, what is going on with Harold Abelson’s hair in this video?

One of the things that I’ve been struggling to grapple with is functional programming. I first heard about it through Cardano. That team decided to use Haskell for it, as it allows code to be formally validated using math. This is important in the smart contract space, as we saw with the Dao hack. So the MIT vids are actually pretty relevant still today, and I’ve been learning a lot from them. I told my wife that between these classes and my recent progress learning piano and sight reading, that I can feel my brain changing. I was only half joking. This type of meta-cognition is an important part of why I meditate, and all of the stuff that I’m learning is definitely having an effect on the way I’m thinking.

But right now I’m just beat from hosting 20 kids for a birthday party and just want to veg out with some World of Warcraft.


The Rise and Fall of Pennykoin

Pennykoin is dead! Long live Pennykoin!

About two weeks ago, Jerry Howell, the main developer of Pennykoin (Pk), a Cryptonote privacy coin, publicly abandoned the project, citing personal health and financial reasons. As someone who was heavily involved with Pk during its early days, (eighteen months ago!), and probably the only person besides Jerry that has looked under the hood of Pk, I’ve been asked to take up maintenance of the project.

I feel it is necessary to provide some details that should be shared with the Pk community, my assessment of the current state of the project, and why I think Jerry was right to abandon it.


I don’t have much to say about Pk’s origins. Jerry posted an [ANN] link on May 14, 2018, which was the day after he had the release version of the wallet software released. There isn’t really much to say about Pk as a product. Cryptonote is a privacy coin framework. It was developed to allow people to create their own Proof of Work (PoW) coin by manipulating things such as block time and emissions rate. Bytecoin was the first coin made from it, (and is probably a scam), and Monero is based off of it as well.

Pk first came to my attention over the summer through a Tweet of a noted shitcoiner that I followed, and there seemed to be a nice community developing for Pk on Twitter, so I threw some hashrate at it and started mining. Jerry and I started talking, and pretty soon I was heavily involved, setting up the official mining pool and block explorer for Jerry while he worked on the code.

I found Jerry’s backstory very interesting. He worked in the service industry, I want to say it was food-related, but my memory is hazy. He had been sidelined due to health issues and was off his feet, so he started learning to program as a way to pass the time. I was actually impressed with what he had managed to accomplish. He had a vision for Pk, and I was happy to be helping build something, instead of passively investing in a project as I had been up until then.

Signs of trouble

At some point during the summer, it became clear to me that there were some serious issues that were going to hamper Pk in the long run.

Bootstrap fail

The first was a problem with bootstrapping, which is the way in which a freshly copy of the PK software downloaded the historical blockchain data from the other nodes. In short, it didn’t work. Part of the point of a blockchain is the validation process, in which a node verifies that each block is valid and meets the parameters of the chain that have been specified. Now Cryptonote is built to allow these parameters to be changed. So if one initially specifies a mining reward of 10, and later decides to change this to be 6, there is a way to specify versions of the blockchain, that the node can use to validate.

Unfortunately, Jerry made several changes to the Pk code in the first few weeks that didn’t follow this pattern, and as a result, the nodes were unable to download the complete chaindata, and would fail to sync when connecting to the network. Jerry’s response to this was to provide the chaindata as a separate download that needed to be thrown into the application data folder on machines.

I attempted to help fix this, but my knowledge of CN and C++ programming wasn’t up to the task, so I tried to hack our way around it by disabling validation checks on certain blocks. I don’t believe that these workarounds made it into any surviving releases of the Pk source, but the bootstrap issue has only gotten worse and worse, which is now why new installs require a 100+ megabyte download to bootstrap clients to block 130,000 or so, which is around the time of Jerry’s last update around the end of August.

Chain fail #1

Pk started to get noticed around late summer, and we started to see more and more hashpower being added to the network. I forget exactly what algorithm Jerry was using for PoW, but it was GPU-friendly, and available on rental services like NiceHash. Pk wasn’t yet available on any exchanges yet, but we had a healthy over-the-counter (OTC) market going on. (Disclaimer: I was providing escrow services for a fee.) Now, I can’t really say for certain whether what happened next was malicious or not, but we experienced a chain failure to to what I refer to as a difficulty attack.

Without getting too technical, block chains have a target block time, the average time in which a block should be mined. In the case of bitcoin, it’s two minutes. In Pk, it was two. There is an adjustment built into the blockchain algorithms that will determine whether this target block time is being met, and it will adjust the PoW difficulty target accordingly. To explain this in plain language, think of the PoW game as a requirement that n coins must be flipped heads in a row to win the block reward. As more miners join the network, that number will increase, from 10 to 100 to 1000 and so on. As miners leave the network, that number decreases.

What happened with Pk that fall, was that so much hash power was thrown at the network that some individual or individuals were able to mine an immense amount of Pk at a faster than normal rate. This increased the target difficulty immensely, at which point this power was removed from the network. The end result was that the remaining Pk miners did not have enough power available to mine any blocks, or at least at any rate that would have kept the chain running. Miners, not getting the expected rewards, left the network, making the promise even worse.

Now, I give Jerry immense credit for getting things running again. He basically implemented a difficulty adjustment to the code base and swapped the mining algorithm out for one which we could deploy much more powerful ASIC miners. He pushed the changes out after a week, the community threw some hashpower at it, and we were off and running again.

Note that I am being a bit speculative about what happened, without running metrics on block times and other chaindata, one cannot know whether this was a simple difficulty attack or something more nefarious.

You don’t know what you don’t know

In spite of the heroic efforts on the part of Jerry and others to keep Pk moving after this, there were problems with his development style that were due to his novice, that have ultimately hobbled this project. Now, let me be clear, I have nothing but respect for Jerry and am saying none of this to impinge his character. That said, I think there are things that any potential Pk investor needs to know, and that’s why I want to put this on the public record. I am by no means a professional software developer, so while I was ultimately able to spot these problems, I was in no position to correct them myself.

First off, Jerry never caught the hang of version control. When I first started working with him, he had a horrible habit of committing to master, and when he needed to change something, or hit a wall, he would just delete everything and start from scratch, which breaks the commit change and makes tracking changes very difficulty. For example, here’s what the early releases of the PKNode software looks like:

Orphan commits are not good.

Now, someone with more experience than I could probably rebase these to link them together, but there are dozens and dozens of commits and branches that go no where, and since I stepped away from Pk at the end of fall 2018, I don’t really know what he was doing. There are a few blog updates over the past year that talks about various initiatives, but there’s just too many changes for me to try and reverse engineer.

Technical debt must be paid

Unconfirmed transactions or ill-gotten gains

There are a number of problems with Pk as it stands now. First off, there is was a huge bug that has locked up about seven percent of all of the current coins in circulation. For a quick technical explanation, I need to talk about the unlock_time parameter of a CN transaction. This unlock time is primarily meant as a way to prevent newly mined coins from being spent immediately. I believe it’s meant to discourage forking attacks or something similar. With Pk, this unlock time is normally set to 10 blocks (20 minutes) for block rewards. For standard transactions, this is zero. Normally, anyways.

After Jerry’s disappearance, following the latest release, we started getting reports from people with unconfirmed transactions. According to the information that I’ve gathered, these people withdrew these amounts from the Graviex exchange, and their wallets were not making them available to be sent elsewhere. I was able to get my hands on one of the individual wallets, and confirm the issue.

A number of these transactions were mined to the blockchain with a large unlock time. So large, in fact, that at Pk’s target block time, it will be one hundred and twenty years before these funds are available to the owners. Now I wrote a program to examine the entire Pk blockchain, and I believe that these transactions were all limited to between November 2 and March 31, which coincides with the release of several version of the Pk software. I do not believe this bug is currently in circulation. However, I have been unable, or more accurately, unwilling, to contact Graviex to see what was going on their end in order to properly establish a root cause. In fact, I don’t think it’s likely that I will.

Et cetera…

There are other issues with the current code base that I’m not go into much detail on. There seems to be discrepancies between the CLI and GUI software, which I believe stems from the core CN/Pk libraries existing separately. Wallets amounts are different between the two for some of my older wallets, and I’ve documented at least one transaction that is present in the CLI is not displayed at all in the GUI. From what I can determine, this is not related to deposit functionality, which is not implemented in the CLI at all.

Given the recent vulnerabilities and bugs that have recently been exposed in Cryptonote, I cannot rule out the possibility that this was intentional, whether it was malicious or more benign. I am not accusing anyone specific of any ill behavior, but am just stating that I do not know enough to make that determination at this time.

The Jerry-sized hole

For the most part, up until now I’ve been discussing what are mostly technical challenges that can be overcome with enough time and effort. There is one issue that cannot, and that is the absence of Jerry Howell.

I’m passing no judgement here. Jerry had to chose between health and keeping a roof over his head, and I’m not going to second-guess his decision. Unfortunately, he couldn’t eke out a living from Pk, and priorities is priorities. He did what he had to do. For the future of Pk, that presents us with some problems.

First off, because Jerry still holds the key to the kingdom, so to speak, we would have to recreate much of the public-facing infrastructure: two sets of github repos, social media accounts, various Discord instances, &c.. Thankfully, members of the governance committee have access to the web domains and hosting services that are running the main pool. But in order to modify the code, I would have to create new Pk repos, which would present us with a different type of ‘fork’ that could become problematic. The last thing we want is a non-authoritative code source online, and what would happen if we took steps to publish new code to maintain Pk, and Jerry changes his mind and decides to go in a different direction?

To that end, members of the governance committee have decided that it would be best to wait till the end of the month to see if he will resurface. There is no doubt that he has been active; we noticed a new Github repo for an unrelated project that he created a few days after he disappeared. The best thing for Pk is that he will pop up long enough to properly hand off control of these resources so that development can continue without him.

If not, it will likely be the end of ‘Pennykoin’ altogether. The risk of associating with that name is too great, and at a minimum, the community will have to decide on a new name and rebrand.

The future of Pk

Even if Jerry does come back and hands things off, it doesn’t mean that we’ll be out of the woods. I’ve mentioned the technical debt that has to be paid off, and I can tell you right now that I am not the one to lead Pk out of the desert, so to speak. My personal investment in this project is not substantial, and the opportunity cost to me to spend the necessary amount of time needed for me to figure out how to fix what has happened is too great a risk. Unfortunately, there does not seem to be another individual within the community right now that has the technical skills needed to manage a project of this complexity. I simply do not have the time.

A quick calculation of the current Pk supply will give us a market cap of Pennykoin: 1.6b Pk minted over 150k blocks. The ‘price’ as I write this is less than one sat, more like 4/10 of one, which means we’re looking at a total cap of less than 7BTC, or $70,000 in USD. That’s impressive nonetheless, and demonstrates the promise of crypto-based assets, but as Jerry has found, one can’t pay the rent with those kinds of numbers. I just can’t commit to that, and am not willing to take responsibility as the one to fix the numerous problems that exist today. I’m not even sure I know how to fix these problems.

Stats on the PK block explorer

My personal and professional opinion is that the entire codebase should be redeployed from the ground up using test-driven development principles, with features selected from a proper governance process. I also think that inevitably, the existing chain will need to be abandoned completely. I’m not familiar enough with blockchain engineering that I could figure out a way to hard fork the stuck funds back into circulation. It would be something on par to Ethereum undoing the DAO hack, and I’ll admit I’m not up for it. have already been thinking about protocols for an automated chain swap that would allow us to provide current Pk holders with equity in the new chain.

Moving forward

I realize that this post may not be what anyone wants to hear, but I think it is an honest assessment of where Pk stands. I haven’t given much thought to what the fallout of this will be, but I assume that most people will be disappointed, and maybe even angry at me for publishing this. So be it. I’ve been in the cryptospace for almost five years, and I think this is one of the greatest opportunities that our generation will see in our lifetimes. Many of you no doubt agree, else you would not be here at the end of this brutal, brutal bear market. That said, I believe that there is no such thing as failure so long as knowledge is gained. I know I have learned an immense amount about blockchains from working on this, and many others have done so, and stepped up to run nodes, websites, or other parts of the Pk infrastructure.

So there is a way for us all to move forward, utilizing the connections that we have. It may not look like Pk does today, but there’s no reason that the connections and network that we’ve built should go to waste. This space is moving fast, and there are lots of opportunities to form a new type of organization that can help us move forward and build a future that we can all be proud of. I am personally very interested in work being done around Decentralized Autonomous Organizations (DAO) and Decentralized Finance (DeFi), but others may have other suggestions that they may be interested in.

What’s important to me is that the future that the Pk community decides on, whatever the course, is decided in a democratic manner. That is our first challenge, ensuring that what we build is more robust, and can’t be destroyed by the decision of one person to disappear. I have already been in discussions with others on the governance committee about forming a formal, legal entity to help manage this responsibility.

I realize the community is going to need some time to process what I’ve written, and I know there will be lots of discussion around this in the days to come. I hope that enough people will feel it worth their time to stick around, and help decide on next steps, together. There is vast opportunity in the crypto space, and I have already met many people that I would be honored to work with to build the next iteration of blockchain based products.


Stablecoin lending interest with DeFi

So there’s been a bit of life in the crypto markets the past day or two. Bitcoin has been trending in a range. Cryptotwitter is debating whether it’s a descending triangle or a wedge, trying to predict whether a breakout up or down is coming. It looks to me that it’s in a consolidation zone. I have been holding off on purchasing much fiat to BTC, since I have other financial responsibilities that are taking precedence. Plus I have too much exposure, in general.

I have begun plans to phase out my use of Lending Club for investment purposes. I had started separate accounts for both of my kids, and was happy with the $25-50/month that I had been setting in there for them, with three to five percent interest. But around the time of the bull run, October 2017, I decided to start putting those funds into BTC, giving both of them their own wallets. I let Lending Club continue to reinvest the returned payments. Until recently.

The big talk in the cryptoasset space right now is in decentralized finance, or DeFi. Most of the major apps in the space rely on Ethereum smart contracts, stable coins like Dai being the most prominent. I became aware of platforms like Compound, which allow lending and borrowing of several assets, like Dai, Ether, and others. The basic premise behind Compound is that people deposit their assets with the smart contract, and can then use those assets as collateral to which they can borrow other assets. The reasons why is something I really can’t explain. I assume most of it is speculative trading; a bit to risky for me given the borrrower APR.

Now with Dai, which tries to maintain a 1:1 parity with USD, has had a 20% stability fee assessed against it. Which is why it had a nearly twelve percent lending interest rate on Compound a few weeks ago. I had to try it out. I had some change on Coinbase, so I bought twenty bucks worth of Dai, transferred it to a Metamask wallet, and had it deposited at Compound in no time.

Supply (lending) interest rates on Compound for Dai and USD coin are much higher than traditional finance (for now).

Now, this is not financial advice, and there is a risk with DeFi and smart contracts. There is the possibility that there is a flaw in either the Compound or Dai contracts, and something could go horribly wrong. But I’ve decided to stop reinvesting the kid’s funds on Lending Club, and will start moving their funds over to Compound as the loans are paid out. There’s no sense in lending USD at less than three percent, given that it’s hardly better than inflation. Now the rates on Compound and other DeFi applications can fluctuate daily as well, so I’ll need to keep an eye on things and make sure nothing crazy happens.

Given that I want to take advantage of this new opportunity, without increasing exposure to BTC directly, gaining high interest on stablecoins pegged to USD seems like a no brainer.

Play us a song

My first instrument was a small Casio keyboard that I got for Christmas when I was maybe three or four. It had a small ROM cartridge that plugged into it with some songs on it that you could play. The keys, there were maybe three or four and half octaves or so, had small lights on them that would light up when you needed to press them, and you could play along with the songs in this manner. It’s been so long that I have forgotten what it had on it, I think one of them might have been Flight of the Bumbleebees or Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. Jingle Bells was one of them, for sure. I didn’t get much more serious with it.

When I was in first grade I wound up in the school orchestra, playing violin. I’m not quite sure what happened, but according to my dad I lost the instrument or something, so that was the end of that.

When I was about fifteen, my best friend Thomas showed me his inheritance from his grandfather, a 1950-something model Gibson hollow-body. At some point, Tommy asked me if I wanted to start a band, and I was like ‘hell ya’. I asked my dad if I could get a guitar, and he gave me some lame, dad-like excuse that I was going to my grandmother’s for the summer and needed to save my money. So off I went on a plane with my little brother for the summer, and when we got picked up by my grandmother, she asked what I wanted to do.

“I want to buy a guitar.”

I spent most of that summer watching MTV, trying to pick up as much as I could by watching More Than Words, Nothing Else Matters, and Mama I’m Coming Home on constant rotation. And that began a life-long love affair with the guitar that has had its ups and down and remains somewhat cool to this day. I dare say I’m decent enough at it, having taught myself and learned enough over the years that I can teach myself pretty much any song that I want to. Not that I’m the best technical player, but I can pass a decent solo if I put my mind to it. And I can sing and play, so I’ve had a lot of fun over the years as a front man with a band or as solo performer.

One thing that has always bothered me is that I’ve never been able to read sight music. Guitar players have tablature, which is basically play by numbers, and I’ve always been good at using that to learn whatever I couldn’t pick up by ear. But put a piece of sheet music in front of me and I’m dead. I once tried out for the local art school when I was in high school, but I got too frustrated during the audition and gave up.

A few years ago, after getting more into electronic music production, I bought a 61-key keyboard and started trying to teach myself a few songs. I picked up a couple books and printed out sheet music to some stuff I wanted to play, and started learning how to play by reading the scores. I dare say I was able to teach myself Fur Elise, all of it mind you, not just the theme, but the two breaks with all the technical runs and everything. But the keyboard got stored away to make room for my other hobby du jour, and everything I new drained away.

I still play the guitar, and even bought a small ukulele for the girls, and about all they can do with it is open strum it and sing. I’ve tried teaching them how to fret the strings, but so far, no good. So I figured I’d break the keyboard out of the closet and let them start playing with it. Dare say I was greatly disappointed with how little I had remembered. But the girls took to it like a new toy and all.

The only question was how to drive their learning. As I expected, there’s an app for that, and after a bit or research bought a month of Playground Sessions, and have been letting my oldest play with that. It’s a game, basically, and of course I wanted to use it to. The problem is that the subscription is single-profile only, and I didn’t want to go in there and blow through all the basic lessons and complete her work for her. So yesterday I ran through the demo of Flowkey, which is much different from Playground. A quick review:

Playground Sessions is a much more sophisticated app. It has more of a traditional sheet music view, and there’s a couple options for speed, and whether the notes or finger positions appear above the score. The lessons have accompaniment, and it plays through, marking on the score where you hit the correct note, and it gives you a score based on your accuracy. Eighty percent is passing, and each ‘lesson’ has four or five sections that build on each other before a challenge section. My daughter is obsessed with the accuracy score, wanting one-hundred percent before moving on. I try to get her to move forward, progress by resting before coming back, else she gets to frustrated.

The PS subscription includes a number of free song credits per month. There are multiple versions of songs based on skill level, and they’ve got backing tracks accompianning them. They’ve even got Old Town Road, which was a must-get for my kids. All of the classical music is free, but I was disappointed that the top level of the advanced-hard songs were still simplified compared to the actual scores.

Flowkey, on the other hand, is a bit more pared down app, but is superior in other ways. Now first off, its web based, which is cool, but makes progressing through the lessons a pain. Even the first lesson, which is When the Saints Go Marching In, requires you to load 4 different lessons to learn about four bars at a time, before trying the whole thing. Needless to say, I didn’t spend much time messing that that.

Where Flowkey really shines, though, is that they unlock the entire music library after you go Premium. And this is the real deal. Now, like Playground, the popular music follows a modified score that incorporates the vocal melody in it. I would rather have the full score, actually, but that’s a minor quibble. Instead of showing several lines of staff and playing through it like a metronome, Flowkey has one continuous line of staff. The top screen shows a performer playing through it, with graphic aids to show exactly which keys are being pressed. This is both useful and inspiring. Flowkey doesn’t have the fingering numbers like PS, so it’s useful to figure out where to put you hands or how to switch between several chords in succession. And Flowkey has a wait mode, so that it will pause until you find the right note.

And I love just watching the performers on some of the more challenging pieces. It’s hard not to be impressed with Let It Go, forget it. And I was grinning ear-to-ear watching the score and hands whizzing by the keyboard for Bohemian Rhapsody.

Overall, I’m not sure which one I like better. I think Playground Session has a better lesson structure, although it’s very metronomic, whereas Flowkey, well, flows better. It’s more human, rather than just grading you on accuracy. And having unrestricted access to all the songs instead of the limited mode with Playground is nice. (PS has the entire library unlocked for annual subscribers, although not lifetime… ??)

So for now the jury’s still out. I’ll see if my daughter maintains interest in it for now, we’re about a week or two into it, and she still hasn’t gotten through the right-hand lesson. This dad, though, is having fun.

And I might just learn to sight read yet.

Saying ‘no’

Probably one of the most important things I’ve learned recently is the power of saying ‘no’. I’ve usually been gung-ho and enthusiastic when it comes to work, and I guess you could say I’ve been eager to please in a lot of respects. Part of that may be because of self-esteem issues from when I was younger, maybe the need for validation or acceptance, or the need to be liked or loved or whatever. But now, I’m at the point in my life that I don’t feel the need to please everyone, and have started being a lot more discriminating in what I take on.

I’ve mentioned before that as a technical person, I was always the first one people came to when they had problems with their computers. Now, don’t get me wrong, I made a great career out of fixing people’s stuff, but it was mainly because I was always fixing mine and was so good at it. But after twenty years, I’ve gotten tired of the support calls and spending my time working on someone’s 5 year workstation that can’t get Outlook 2016 to work right on Windows 7 or whatever. Or someone wants to spend hours of my time trying to get the straight up cheapest laptop they can find cause they’d rather spend the extra two hundred on lotto tickets. (I’m looking at you, dad.)

As my skills have advanced to deal with larger networks, business problems and software development, I’ve come to recognize where my most unique skills are and where I can have the greatest impact. Everything else has got to go.

I recently picked up David Allen’s Getting Things Done a few weeks back and started rifling through it. He was on Tim Ferris’s podcast more recently and hearing the two of them talk was a great motivation. And then Craig Groeschel had a segment last week on ‘cutting the slack‘ that mentioned the two of them by name, with his tips. I’ve definitely been building my own ‘no’ list, things that I just won’t do anymore. And I’ve been very clear with my boss that we should not do them any more. To quote Groeschel, you “grow with your ‘nos'” .

Now that my political candidate ‘career’ is over (for the foreseeable future,) I’ve been able to focus on a lot of things that I had put on hold for several months during the campaign. I’ve spent more time with my family, caught up on house projects, and I can focus on finishing my degree. But I’ve been asked about filling a leadership position in two of my local parties. The idea appeals to me for several reasons, but I told the first one that I had to consider it, and turned down the second offer outright. My first initial thought was what it would mean to have a democratic socialist as the chair of the local Democratic party. It seems like it aligns with where I want to accomplish, but I’m still on the fence about the effectiveness of traditional electoral politics at this point. I’ll have to save this discussion for another post, but the entire state party will be reorganizing this winter, and it seems like a big opportunity for DSA types to start gaining influence.

I’ve also been working with a blockchain project that I’ve been asked to take over. It’s not really that flattering as the sole-developer and originator of the project quit, and I’m the only other person who’s looked at the code. I was asked to take over formally, and I had to say no, for a variety or reasons related to governance and technical debt — another post coming on that one as well, I’m sure. But even when I was saying no to the person asking, we were exploring the possibility of a new project built on the ashes of the old one. This new one would start fresh, with a proper governance model, and follow a more formal design and test-driven development process than the one that is in a crippled state.

In all, this is part of a broader process that I am engaging in with my wife, to streamline our lives, reduce our clutter, and focus on what’s really important in our lives. We’ve decided that we are no longer buying into the American dream, and are finding ways to exit our salaried jobs, sell our big house, get rid of the mortgage and debt, and do what we do as we see the world.

Our goal is to be FIRE: financially independent and retire early, and saying ‘no’ is how I’m going to get there.

Keeping on

This blog has become somewhat of a journal for me. I’m still holding to the principle of writing something every day, even if sometimes when I start writing, I have no idea what I want to talk about. Like today. Sometimes I sit down expecting that nothing important will come out, but I keep writing to build the habit and maybe find some truth that I can speak for that day. Sometimes I think it’s just because it keeps the search engine spiders coming back.

I’m still keeping my meditation and intermittent fasting habits, although I’ve been slacking on Naval’s 60 For 60 challenge. I started breaking the sessions up into shorter 20-minute ones because I’ve been sleeping later. As a result I’ve only been getting 40 minutes for the past couple days. I’ve got about 10 days left, so let this serve as a written promise to hold myself accountable if I don’t get back on track. I suppose this means that I need to quit writing and go do that last twenty minutes before the day ends. I’ll save a longer detail on my experience with that after the 25th, when I’ll decide what further adjustments I’m making to the routine.

I still haven’t had anything to drink in about 75 days now. I haven’t found it that hard or difficult at this point. I don’t even find myself thinking about drinking like I thought I might. I remember hearing an old alcoholic tell someone that they hadn’t had a drink in years, but still thought about it ‘every day’. What I have noticed is that I’ve reverted in other ways, and have been eating and drinking a lot of sugar. I’ve been drinking a lot of energy drinks, and am pretty sure I’m addicted to drinking caffeine right now. I’ve been staying up a bit longer than I want to, and have been finding it harder to get out of bed like I had been a few weeks ago.

That may have something to do with the fact that school is back in session, and I’ve had to deal with classes and a few other projects that I’ve picked up in spite of efforts not to do so. And World Of Warcraft rebooted around this same time, which I totally shouldn’t have subscribed to, but somehow have wound up with a level 15 troll priest and several alts already. And on top of that I broke out my old M-Audio 61-key USB keyboard, and have been teaching my oldest how to play through Playground Sessions. Of course I’ve been spending more time on it than her, trying to get my skills back up to where they were years ago.

But, I did manage to get out and go for a run tonight, which I haven’t done in a few weeks. And I did manage to finish the whole route instead of bailing out like I did last time after eating too much, so that’s progress.