Sleep, glorious sleep

Yes, the insomnia is over, I decided not to read in bed last night and turned out the lights right after laying down. It was the right call. I got a whopping 6h30m of sleep, and woke up — or was woken rather — feeling more refreshed than I have all week. It’s like anything is possible.

Yesterday’s cross-functional feedback meeting for the dao went well, it’s been a while since I came out of one of them without any disappointment, so that’s good. Things are moving forward and the end is in sight; at least for our version zero. I’ve been reading some books and have actually been doing my damn job now that I’m healthy and catching up on my responsibilities, so I’m looking forward to righting the ship and getting things back on track.

Caig Roeschel said that if you don’t have an “I used to do X, but now I do Y” story then you’re not growing as a leader. I wasn’t comfortable delegating when I came onboard and started managing a team, I’m used to being the one doing everything, but coming into the team and having people who were more experienced with their craft — and frankly more professional — intimidated me and I didn’t want to micromanage them or presume to tell them how to do their job. Now I’m a bit more comfortable in my skin, as far as my role as the project owner for this, and so I’ve started taking more of a hands on approach to prioritizing work for the team. I own the vision, and I need to direct the team as to what the priorities are. We’re coming down to the wire. I also have to credit the fact that I have lots of colleagues outside of my team, other project managers that are helping me get my shit together and are holding me accountable. It’s all very chill, but setting the tone or culture is important here and we’ve got a tight-nit group that I’m spending one-on-one time with.

Outside of work, I’ve been trying to focus on my parenting as well. I’m reading Parent Like It Matters. I’m not doing the exercises or anything, but I think it’s important to focus on my role as parent as well. Elder and I came at odds a few days ago and I had to ground her. She needs to understand that if I give her a chore to do, then she doesn’t get to whine and complain. I think part of the problem is that chores vary from day to day, and there’s always this inherent comparing that they do when I give one of them certain jobs to do. It even gets to the point where they’ll fight over easy chores to try and get out of doing what I really need done. Mostly this is Elder because I have her do the more advanced stuff and she’ll try to cut in on whatever Younger is doing.

So yesterday I just gave them jobs. Elder is to feed the cats dry food in the morning. Younger gives them wet food at dinner. Younger’s job is to clear and set the table before dinner, clear and wipe it down after. Elders job is to dry dishes and put them away. Basically I’m tired of them sitting at the table, eating a third plate of food, or running off to the bathroom for twenty minutes to get out of helping. They think they can do one task and be done while Missus and I wash dishes, put away food, and scoop the cat box. So I grounded Elder, let Younger go off to play after she did her job, and made Elder assist with me with cooking dinner.

She didn’t like it, but I need to teach her my work ethic. She got citizen of the month at class, and everyone I know comments about how well-behaved she is, but when she comes home she bickers with her sister and argues with me about everything, and I’m fucking tired of it.

Yesterday was pretty good though. We did have a bit of a challenge when I sent Younger off. Elder wanted me to make her sister wait, but I reminded her that she was grounded and wasn’t going anywhere until I excused her, and I had no intention of doing that until she fixed her attitude and did what I ask.

It’s basically at the point where that if I ask them to do something and they respond negatively, I’ll think of something else to make them do.

I wasn’t a complete asshole though. Elder and I did have some fun. She’d been singing some song, something with silly lyrics to the tune of Smashmouth’s All Star, and it got me thinking about how I used to make up lyrics when I was little. So I decided to introduce her to Weird Al. She loved it. I actually showed her Michael Jackson’s Bad video before Al’s Fat, and her reaction to the Bad video was something else. She was like what in the world is this? and I had to explain to her the context of the video. I guess she thought it was cringe or something. Maybe I’m just old. But she did laugh out loud at Fat, and we went on to watch a few more vids before dinner. The rest of the evening went well.

She’s still grounded though.

She woke up early because she had an accident, and started her laundry, then got on her computer and started studying for school. I wound up getting earlier than I wanted to, but since it is so nice out I went and took Younger to school on her bike. I asked Elder if she wanted to ride, but she went all ugghh on me, complaining that she couldn’t ride with her backpack on. Can’t win them all.

Today is lovely though, and I’m rested, so I’m planning on taking an afternoon trip to the rock gym. I’ll bring the kids — and maybe their cousins — tomorrow. Sunday is a busy day, but tomorrow is wide open. But before that, I’ve got a list of things I want to do today, and daylight is burning.

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